Dreams do come true if you give them a chance

 Dreams do come true if you give them a chance

I want to remember how to fall in love. 
I want to be me again.

CHAPTER

September 25, 2009

I'm writing.

On the road.

Heading west.  Not stopping until I see the sun fall into the Pacific Ocean.  

Joe Guese is next to me.  

One million white dashes dance up a silent metronome.

Chasing dreams.  Again.  It's not the first time I've chased a dream.  Chasing miracles, chasing love, chasing passion.  

Somewhere on the interstate, between the pavement, and the blue skies, with my headphones on, I remembered who I was very clearly today.  I felt peace.  I felt hope.  That's what this is all about.  Maybe I just can't sit still.  I may not be able to keep a conventional life, a conventional relationship... those girls often marry the next boy.... the one dressed in security and a nice tie.  I don't blame them.  Chapters come and go.

Those girls need another band to fall in love with.  Something cuter.  Something more popular.... something in the moment... like bubblegum.  Chew it until it loses it's flavor.   I don't blame them.  Chapters come and go.

I'm turning pages.  I was stuck in between the pages for a moment.  And in the dead of this unconventional decision, I started feeling peaceful about what lies ahead.  I saw some creative glow coming out of the sunset, and now I'm chasing it.  Again.  

There is a raw energy that comes from discomfort.  That is what I always loved about New York City.  The never ending discomfort that completely vacuumed the ideas out of my head without enough time to completely sit back in my chair (sitting back in my chair is made for those moments in Bali after endless amount of travel... when I feel the need to celebrate with relaxation), without enough time to second-guess, and with far too many extremely talented people... knowing that if you didn't come up with a good idea... they certainly would immediately.  I love that strange discomfort.  That challenge.

So again, I am heading into a somewhat unknown discomfort.  I need to be re-sprung.  I want to learn more.  I want to be freaked out.  I want to remember how to chase dreams.  I want to remember how to make magic.  

I want to remember how to fall in love.

I want to be reminded that I can make someone happy.

I want to remember myself.

Books are written.  The sweetest of chapters are remembered.  Some are forgotten.  Some are burned.  But they are still written.

I hope you read the next chapter.

♥you Ben Romans :)


Bring back those memories. Those times I used to be happy. The times when everything was motivated by you. The times when I smiled doubly wide every single day. The times when even though there were the downs I'll always be able to bring myself back up with the reminder of how much i felt for him. The times ... those times, will never be able to repeat themselves again. Those times brought my smiles, joy and laughter. They were the happiest I have been last year, I still remember 2208. I still count the months till now.

Books are written. The sweetest of chapters are remembered. Some are forgotten. Some are burned. But they are still written.

I will read the next chapter.

When life brings you down, you stand up. Fight back. This girl here don't fall that easily.

The memories brought me joy and laughter, but now they bring me tears and heartbreaks. The irony of life.

I'VE LOST THE MOMENTUM TO STUDY NOW. HOW! :O

Forever doesn't exist.

Forever

Its a Saturday night. 6days before MYE. Man, just finished my chem revision. GO GIRL. :) 

This week's been another hectic week. My Thursday was as busy as last week's. Sighs. Just finished Chem revision. Here to do some last minute blogging. Haven't been blogging since last Friday. But this space here is as dead as ever. 

Memories are there to remind you of the times you were flew and the times you fell. 

But still they make me tear and cry and make me wonder ..

Why do all the happy times always pass by so fast? Why can't they last forever? I guess thats just life.  

93 5683 4894364 CCHMSGZ♥

The above:

WE LOVE GUZHENG CCHMSGZ<3

Yesterday was the official day of step down I guess. But ... they'll be back on the 16th for results! :O
Time flies, we'll seriously miss them. Dedications will be left till later .... (you know what) HAHA. Anyway, ytd. Things happened in 3ly yea. But the thing is, I don't exactly give a shit about it. In fact, I was more obsessed with the fact that sec4s are leaving than the guys getting detention because of playing cards during English class. Much less care about whether K and E got into a huge conflict with the class. But there's one thing I'd like to say to you K.

You know, I've known you for 4years and most of the time when you don't do stuff I don't comment much. But in fact most of the time I have a lot of comments on it but I thought "some things are meant to be kept inside". So yeah. But this time, seriously, no way am I gna keep it in anymore. This is the second time this is happening. Let me ask you: "DO YOU SERIOUSLY WNA SCREW UP YOUR SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE????"
Seriously man girl. You gotta grow up. People ain't as simple as you think. Stop thinking that this world is a fairytale land where only good people exist. Cause NO. People always have two sides. The side they wanna show people and they side that they don't want to. So deal with it girl. I hope this stupid incident has caused you to actually THINK about you, your thoughts and the way you perceive people to be. Firstly, LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF WILL YOU? I mean come on! Using common sense right, telling Ms Yong is totally more seriously than telling Mdm Heriyati. Next, PLEASE STOP BEING SO RECKLESS. I won't always be there for you to consult. Take this incident for example, you know I really don't care what the guys do in class. They want play cards not my business right! And yah, I know it kinda matters a lot to you cause its like the class that you finally get accepted in. But seriously, please lah. Don't do things without consulting people. Vice chair doesn't mean you can do things your own way. Consulting Emerson is NOT consulting. Don't you know he is still stuck in his own lala land. Don't you know that he himself doesn't know how to lead??? So consult others please. Its seriously very important. You have about 2months left in being vice chair. And you just screwed your name up in LY. I'm not holding any grudges at you, but then I do NOT agree with what you and E did. Its wrong ok. Getting yourself into trouble doesn't get me in a very good position either. Somehow I feel like I'm stuck in between. I know you're wrong, but then I can't turn my back on you. But still, i know you're this kind of person and I know that you will not survive next time if you do not change. Please lah hor. Don't so ... child like can. You're 15, grow up. Next, having a lot of exes isn't a very good thing ok. It just shows that you don't take things seriously. Having 2 "serious" r/s that doesn't last over a month isn't exactly called totally experienced and moreover it doesn't give you a reason to give up. I've gone through 2 shitty serious r/s and I ain't giving up ok. So what reason do you have do give up? You go around telling me to cheer up about __ but what about you?
Next point. I asked you what mattered to you more: Doing the right thing or _____. And you told me doing the right thing that you go tell. THATS THE RIGHT THINGS MEH????? I know lah, I knew you were wrong but i didn't stop you. That thing my fault k. I was seriously too obsessed that the sec4s were stepping down the next day to care about whatever that is going on in class. Seriously you have no idea how emo we were on that day. Damn shit. So, I leave this here for you to think.
Things ain't as simple as it seems. People wear masks to hide their true self, and they're very very very cruel if they want revenge. The world is cruel. Deal with it. Thats just life.

I won't be the same again if you ever come back

"Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you deserve better. You deserve someone who treats you right and makes you happy. Forgot that asshole who made your life a mess and move on."

Hello world.
I'm supposed to be finishing my holiday homework now, but I'm stuck here since noon. Cause thats when I woke up. Been sleeping passed midnight everyday. Should really start adjusting back to normal sleep timings for school. Man, about 5weeks to MYE. Thats fast man. Freaking fast! :O
Election this Wednesday. Gosh man. Thats fast :O Still remember when I first entered CCHMSGZ, now its my turn to step up. Soon again it'll be my turn to step down. Time flies I guess. I've grown, I've learned so much. I've hurt, I've smiled.
I feel like writing a reflective blog post on life. Hmm. Well, lets start.

Firstly, I've learned that life contradicts itself. The phrase "Too many ain't a bad thing" can never be applied to life. Everything has to be just right. Too much sometimes ain't too good, but having too little means losing out on so much. I guess life's a roller coaster ride. You have your ups and your downs, but then it always makes the ride worthwhile. Be it in love, friendship, education, career ... anything, I've learned that if you put your very best into it you'll never regret. Even if you end up failing. Because what matters ain't whats on the other side of the road, what matters is how you did it, who you met, the ride itself. I've also learned that everyone is unpredictable and we should NEVER rule out the impossible. Impossible itself spells I-M-POSSIBLE. 
Always treasure every person you have in your life, you never know when you might lose them. Don't assume, because it only makes an ASS out of U and ME. (Ok, I'll make this shorter than expected) And lastly, always remember who made you fall and who helped you up.

HELLO PEOPLE BELOW, I LOVE YOU! <3

♥♥♥

I WANT BUS TRIP HOME WITH BEN&IVY TMR!!!! :D

Do you remember the times?

I haven't been touching this place much. Used to blog like 2-3 timesday per day during the holidays, cause I pretty much have nothing to do besides sleep, text, blog, tweet and eat. Haha. Since now my phone is so dead(ok lah, actually got ppl text one. But then ah, sms cannot get into my inbox cause I lazy delete sms mah. And some sms I also want keep, so you see the indecisive me? HAHAHA), I should be blogging more right??? WRONG. I've been obsessed with my itouch lately. Can keep me up till midnight one ley. I also dk how. One small and thin thing with such a small screen can keep me occupied like siao. Pro right? *applauds* But still shows how no life I am. Everyday also like that.

Been so damn NOT productive lately. Stuck at home. Ok lah, got go out but these two days stuck at home :( Sianxzxzx. Today actually have rehearsal for recital ppl one, but ah ... Sadly its been cancelled. So left the one on stage. I ... PREFER TO PLAY THE PIANO. HAHAHAHA. Yeah. Rehearsal's from 7-10pm today. So sad right!!! I hope the people will do quick quick so I can go home and sleep sleep!

Esplanade tmr before CCA with Joy. F-I-N-A-L-L-Y! Supposed to head to Esplanade today before rehearsal with Qianying, sadly rehearsal cancelled :( I really should bring my homework there tomorrow man. Finish them before going for cca. :)

OH WTF. My sister is so damn madly fucking annoying!!! Have you ever seen a stupid girl who is SOOOOO obsessed with her toys that she doesn't want to do a fucking shit??? I HAVE. She's having tuition later on, and the rain has stopped yet she still doesn't want to go. Ok lah, tuition who want to go??? But its a responsibility right!!! And you can't use some shit excuse like "Oh! There's rehearsal later then I cannot eat in 15min so I don't go tuition" ZZZZZ. WTF MAN. Seriously lah. I hate teaching my sister piano. It sounds so damn shitty wrong when she plays and it really does annoy me. She's playing it as if she's being FORCED to do so. Then learn for what sia! Music is supposed to be played when you're enjoying it. Not as if you're being forced. If it is, it just sounds so damn wrong. So to all parents to be: I BEG YOU PLEASE DO NOT FORCE YOUR CHILDREN TO PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT IF THEY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT TO. Cause it only spoils the meaning of music. Music is supposed to be played and enjoyed. Its supposed to sound soothing to the audience and its suppose to let the player feel happy, its supposed to be a HAPPY thing. Come on, think about it. Can anyone of you out there survive without music? If your answer is yes, you must be mad. Seriously. Be it avan garde music or current 21st century music. People enjoy them! Imagine if you force a slave who totally doesn't like playing music play for you. It defeats the purpose doesn't it? You wouldn't feel happy listening to it, neither will the player. So why force the person and make you two unhappy? Why spoil the meaning of music? Why destroy it? I'll thank you if you don't seriously. Seriously, kids these days are ... UNBELIEVABLE. Ok, I really mean no offence to the good and ok ones out there, but seriously man even the sec1s are horrifying. Typing there hair, yawning and doing their shirt and skirts while being scolded???? I don't see us doing that, yes I admit that we(our batch) had our own mistakes, but I don't see us being so rude when we were being scolded. Like come on man! Have some manners please! When someone says sorry give that person a smile. Cause sometimes YOU were in the wrong too(unless the mistake really damn bad lah, then yalah I understand lor). Don't squeeze pass a person, when you OBVIOUSLY know that person is standing there, JUST to talk to someone across. Like seriously, weren't these supposed to be basic manners??? Yeah, our uniform may not be the best, yea we may have our own rebellion sometimes, but still we have manners at least all right. So you don't go up to people saying that our skirts and blablabla not good then should be strict. Ok lah! Our uniform not good our fault can. But at least we got good results right. You guys come in with liek 23+ we come in with 24+ ok. And we maintain that. Do you??? Please man. Get your facts right and get some manners please. TYVM. :)

Well, ok. Should stop huh.

Shanghai trip in 2 days. Man, time flies. Kinda looking forward I guess. Hmm. This post is gna be long. I'm gna post some stuffs here that should I think belong to lj but I really damn lazy log in lah. And I like how the words look here on blogger than on lj. Cause it makes me feel as if I type very long then I'll feel damn proud of myself. LOL Hahahaha. Should I put a line break??? Hmmm. Nvm, decide later. Anyway here I go.

WARNING: The following will sound kinda emo, so if you really do not want to spoil your mood please do not go on reading. TYVM :)

Just because there's no crash, doesn't mean i'm not falling

WHAAAAATZZZZUUUPPPPP!!!

Hello all! I wna tell you guys that I love my class very very much.
They play a very big role in cheering me up these days.
And I hope we'll remain bonded forever :)