Breaking of the heart

With this,

"This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don’t want to laugh, because you know it’s not going to help, but you don’t want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it’s falling apart too. You don’t think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That’s the confusing part, you don’t know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you’re getting happy again, but you know inside that you’re just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you’re back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can’t help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn’t happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don’t know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you’ve had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you’re to the point where you don’t care who see’s. Because you’ve spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it’s not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, “It will be okay…” But you know it won’t. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You’re still hurt, but you’ve learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don’t hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this…"

and this, 

So my mum was talking to me about my break up. She said to me: “I told you so. I told you that you shouldn’t fall for guys like that. I warned you and you didn’t listen to me, and look at what he’s done to you now. You shouldn’t waste your tears on guys who treat you like that. You’re still young and you don’t need to rush into these kind of things. Guys who would stay with you in a committed relationship are rare but trust me you’ll find him one day. Guys at this age don’t know how to love girls properly. They’ll do anything to get to your heart only to break it in the end, they’ll even lie if they have to. They can love you and stop loving you whenever they want, and you can’t do anything about it. So tell me you won’t fall for another guy again, not until you’re ready to handle what comes with it.”

You can never say you hate tumblr. I know I've repeated this many times, but still. I ♥ TUMBLR :)

I still hold on to everything we had. Macau made me forget everything while I was there. And after that shit happened, for once I was smiling genuinely, from the bottom of my heart. And I thought that life was getting better, apparently it didn't. Reality hit me hard after touch down and i knew all the tears will soon start coming back again. I was right. I say I hate you many times to make myself feel better, I say I hate you like I meant it all along. Pointing out your mistakes time and again to tell myself that you ain't worth it and that I should move on, but no way. I couldn't. pick myself up and move on like I did in Macau and put on a smile that will fool all. Cause apparently it didn't. I couldn't fool my dear twinneh. I wish for all this to end, and when everything hits me so hard. I'm so afraid of everything right now, I still feel like I'm in a mess. I don't know what to do. I fear not talking to you at all cause for the pass 1 and a half year, I've learned to depend on you so much. I told you almost every single little thing that ran through my head, I don't want it to end. From the littlest things like I HATE THIS TEACHER to the big issues like heart to heart stuffs. ARGH. FML. 


FML.