People were meant to go

Music: -
Mood: empty

People were meant to go, from the start of all, everything. Living till 100 was wow. She's gone now, sometimes thinking back, it may be a good thing. At least she ain't suffering anymore. I can't help but feel so shocked, so stunned. I understand what my grandpa feels, cause I felt the same.
I think people are weird. We're always waiting till the last minute to treasure someone or even something. We always take things for granted. Is it worth it ? I guess the obvious answer is no. Though I know this is really expected. But, I can't help but feel so stunned. And now i ask myself, why am I stunned when I'm supposed to feel down. It doesn't have as much an impact like when my grandma passed on. Sometimes thinking back about my grandma, I still cry. It always hurts this much when I think about her. I miss her like I really miss no one else. I really miss her cooking, the smell of her when I hug her and cry.
I remember once when I opened my dad's drawer and saw the photo of my grandma, I thought to myself "hey, I haven't seen her for a real long time" and then I snapped back into reality and realized she was gone. Tears started to roll down my face, like whats happening now. Every time I think of it, every time my heart hurts so much.
100years, she has gone through so much. And yet ... and yet we didn't treasure her experiences. She knows the most, what life really really means. But none of us has ever took the initiative to ask her. Whats life ? Why is it so hard ? From WW2, raising kids, carrying 2 buckets of grass jelly for the whole day. Say wow, and I tell you, what she has experienced more than a word wow from people.
Zhao An Granny Grass Jelly Its at beach road, golden mile food center. Beside Kampong Glam CC. The place where they sell army stuffs. Its her own labor. You'll see her frail body, her weak body. You don't see a smile on her face. 100years she has experienced so much, yet at the end of her life. She wasn't happy, at all. She suffers, her days were plainly nothing. Just lying on the bed, waiting for death to come. Once in awhile, she goes down to feed stray cats. Sometimes we may look at her like she isn't much. An old lady, lying on the bed.
I've got something to say to all you readers : Treasure every single person in your life now. You never know when they would go. Don't make yourself regret. Don't take things for granted.
I guess having said so much, I know that there isn't much impact on me. I feel down, I feel ... idk. Really. Sometimes I wonder, she's my great grandma, one way or another, I should at least feel something. Why don't I? It feels like when I heard mj passed on. So distant. Why ?
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9. Pics with cheryl. Mama called half an hour later to tell us the news bout great grandma. Wow, could she have passed on on 12:34:56 07/08/09 ? It was raining right after the news got to me. God was crying to. Sighs. One problem and they pile. Up up up. Stupid, why can't I tweet with my phone ! Help someone !

with love,
yiying(: